Thursday, September 25, 2014

Soon, I Shall Be Called Spider Woman

Does anyone else have a spider problem because I feel like half the spiders in North Alabama have taken up residence on the front side of my house. Thank the good Lord these spiders have stayed outside because I loathe spiders and don't deal with them or any other kind of bug in a composed fashion. I suppose the monthly visit from the bug man keeps the spiders outside, I don't know. At any rate, they have taken over the front of my house. 

Every morning and most evenings, the spiders have weaved ginormous webs and they typically span from one side of my house to the porch and there's not just one or even two, there's generally three or four or even five giant webs. I don't know if it's the time of year or really what the deal is, but lately I have knocked down more spider webs than I care to count and I'm terrified one is going to get on me and bite me. This is especially my fear when I'm mowing in the front which is why I have not mowed along the side of my house in a sweet forever. There are enormous bushes between my house and Charlie's house and I just know there are spiders there and they are going to land on my and bit me and I'll die a spider kind of death just because I was mowing the grass.  I have an active imagination. Long story short, I'm ready for the spiders to leave because I don't think they are planning on spelling out any words to save a pig. 

My shrubs also need to be trimmed up and I suspect this has lent a hand to the massive spider population. I don't have any hedge trimmers though nor have I ever even trimmed a hedge so I probably need my dad to tell me how to do this and get it done, but then I'm terrified I'll get bitten so it's kind of a Catch-22. I have envisioned myself in long sleeves with the sleeves duct-taped down so no spider can crawl up my sleeve. The aforementioned bushes also need to have some work done to them. I asked Charlie last year if I could cut them down and he said yes, only I know no one with a chain saw which has prevented me from doing anything about them. I need to be more persistent in trying to find someone though because I really hate those bushes and want them gone! 

In other bug news... I mentioned that I had a no good terrible day on Monday. Well, when I got home from Bible study Monday night I was laying on the couch watching TV when all of a sudden I noticed something had caught Pippa's eye. That something, my friends, was a giant roach crawling up the wall. I have seen one of these once before inside the kitchen and another time on the porch. They are giant and gross and pretty much scare the poo out of me. 

I immediately jumped up, ran through the bedrooms, put on a pair of shoes and was out the front door. I ran across the street to Jeff's house and knocked on his door, interrupting his late night movie. I explained the situation, told him I was terrified and would he please come and get it? Bless his heart, Jeff is the best neighbor of all time, y'all! He came on over and got that roach (after much laughing) while I stood on the porch. He was kind enough to take the dead rodent back to his house so I wouldn't be fearful of its coming back alive and crawling out of the garbage or the toilet (I wanted to flush it). 

Generally speaking, I don't really have a lot of bugs because I have the bug man come once a month, but occasionally one or two will slip through the cracks but they are usually small. This thing was HUGE. I am so grateful to Jeff for coming to the rescue. I really do have the best neighbor in the world, y'all! 

1 comment:

Erika said...

hahahahahaaha......I am picturing you with your duct taped sleeves and cracking up! Luckily spiders don't bother me too much, but oh those gross gross gross roaches...GROSS. Why did God make them? What purpose do they serve? Did you know they can kinda FLY too? Just about scared me to death one night....yuck yuck yuck.
I think Jeff might should get some homemade cookies this week :) YOu are very lucky to have such a great neighbor.