Thursday, September 30, 2010

Concession Stand Review and More - Hazel Green

This week’s concession stand review is all that and more. Last Friday night I went out to Hazel Green for their game against Albertville. It was my first time out to Hazel Green this season, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I’m not sure why, but I hate covering games at Hazel Green. It probably has something to do with the fact that I went to school there for seven years and I’m always afraid I’m going to run into someone I know. At this point in my life everyone I went to high school probably has at least one marriage and one kid under their belt and I still have zero of either one and it makes me feel like a big fat failure. So, when I go out to Hazel Green I try to avoid eye contact with everyone and get in and out as quickly as possible.

When I arrived, I loaded up my computer and my chair and headed towards the press box. I got set up in the middle window of the third floor, per the instructions from Philip, some dude from Hazel Green. The Albertville coaches were set up there, but he said to move them over because technically that window was for the media. So, I set my things up and headed to the restroom and the concession stand.

There was a long line at the concession stand and I had noticed earlier that some band parents were selling cold canned sodas for $1. Since all I really wanted at this point was a Diet Coke, I decided to got that route. I bought my DC and headed back upstairs to discover that my things had been moved to another window. I was now sharing a window with Perry Jones from Channel 2. Apparently Channel 2 films the games of Boaz, Guntersville, Albertville and some other teams and airs them on Saturday mornings. Perry was a nice man, but he should have applied some deodorant before coming out to the football game.

I was thankful I had remembered to bring my chair up to the press box with me, otherwise there would have been no place to sit during time outs, half time, in between quarters, etc. The floor was disgusting. As you may know, I like to eat sunflower seeds during games. Normally, I am very polite and take a cup with me in which to spit my shells. At Hazel Green everyone spits on the floor, and so needless to say, my sunflower seeds from last season were still on the floor of the middle window. When I was moved over to Perry’s window, there were peanut shells all over the floor. It was obvious no one had bothered to clean since the construction of the press box.

This is the floor in the press box - can you see all the peanut shells?
(Forgive the quality of the pictures on this post - they were taken from my phone.)

I cracked open my Diet Coke and took a big sip and immediately wanted to spit it out. It tasted expired. Sure enough, I looked on the bottom of the can and it had expired on July 12. I was so sad I wanted to cry. Luckily, Philip came upstairs with some waters and offered me one so I was saved from parchment.

After the first half of play, I headed downstairs and over to the restroom/concession stand area. I took a shortcut under the bleachers where I ran into a couple of unsuspecting teenagers making out. Sorry, folks. A quick comment on the restrooms at Hazel Green – the facility itself is nice, but the people that use it leave it in an awful mess. There was trash and all kinds of things on the toilets and the floor. It definitely needed some TLC.

I got in line at the concession stand and decided I would order a cheeseburger. I started my stopwatch and forgot to check it after I got my food, but the wait was over five minutes long. They do have another concession stand on the other side of the stadium that is usually less crowded but once I was in the main concession stand line I was afraid to leave for fear the lines at the other stand would be long. I ordered my cheeseburger and two Diet Cokes – I figured I had better make up for lost time from the first half. Once I got back to my spot, I bit into the cheeseburger and it was disgusting. It seemed like it needed to be cooked longer and the consistency was mushy. It was one of the worst burgers I have ever had. I threw it away, which sucked because I was hungry at this point. So, it was back to the sunflower seeds.

I tried to enjoy the rest of halftime because my feet were killing me and halftime always provides me with the opportunity to sit down. They played some rap music over the loud speakers, which made me ponder since when to cornbread fed country boys like rap music? The next song was country, but confusing because it was the song that goes, “Save a horse, ride a cowboy,” which I’ve always thought had some homosexual meaning behind it. Then again, what do I know? Perry Jones had a small monitor under one of his cameras and I wondered if I could sit in my chair and watch the game on his screen. I tried it for a couple of plays, but it didn’t work so well, so I stood back up much to the despair of my aching feet.

Perry's TV under the camera.

Hazel Green had been up 28-0 at the half and ended up blowing it, as Albertville tied things up. The Albertville coaches were jumping around and yelling and screaming like a bunch of baboons, or wild Indians, or what have you, and Perry Jones looked at me and said, “I’ve never sat by the coaches before, is all that necessary?” To which I replied, “It’s not, but coaches act like that every week.” Welcome to my world, Perry Jones.

Perry Jones made some more comments about how Albertville was looking good in the second half, but probably wouldn’t come back and win. “You never know.” I said.

Soon after, Albertville was about to score the tying touchdown and Perry Jones said, “They are about to prove I don’t know anything about football.” To which I chuckled because I thought it was funny that someone who knows nothing about football was filming a football game. Minutes later Perry Jones asked, “What happens if they are tied does it go into overtime?” “Yes sir, until someone wins,” I said. Albertville tied things up and ended up winning not long into the overtime period.

As for the concession stand, which I suppose is what this post is supposed to be about, all prices were $2 and under, which I thought was great. They have cotton candy there too, which is made on the spot, and so far this is the only school I’ve seen that sells cotton candy. Nachos, hamburgers, and cheeseburgers were each $2. Hot dogs were $1.50 and popcorn and sodas (Coca-Cola products!) were $1 each. They had a souvenir cup for $2, but it looked smaller than the $1 sodas. Hazel Green also had a wide variety of candies and also had pizza.

Despite my bad experience, I know from my past trips to the Green, that the food isn’t always bad, and they get another notch up thanks to the Coca-Cola products.

Final grade: B+


Erika said...

Those shells on the floor are disgusting! Why can't people clean up their own messes - whether it be in the pressbox or restroom???? I will never understand!!
Sorry you had bad Diet Coke and hamburger experiences; isn't that so frustrating???

Alison said...

Hey you, just to let you know that part of the lyrics of "Save a Horse" goes "and the girls a horse, ride a cowboy". So, yeah, take from that what you will. ;)

Kimberly Washer said...

Yep Alison is correct. That song is talking about girls. If you saw the video you would never second guess that it is a hederosexual song.
I just loved this post. Even though it was a bad experience I think it's so fun to read about my alma mater. At least they did have some positive things about them.
Good thing Perry had you there to explain the game of football ;) You're dad would be so proud!!