Watching Football Can Be Dangerous

Saturday night, I was lying on the couch watching the Texas/Texas Tech game, enjoying a nice evening of college football. I was also doing some laundry, so, needless to say, there was a lot of “noise” in the house with the TV, dryer, etc. About 9:25 or so I heard a crash outside; usually when there’s a noise like this, The Tide will bark and jump up from her slumber to peak out through the seam between the blinds and the window to determine if everything is okay. Well, she must have been worn out from watching football all day because she didn’t even stir until I got up and decided to check things out.

I opened the front door and saw my neighbor, Jeff standing in the street in front of my house. He waved me over and I asked what was going on. He said, “They hit your car.” I said, “What?” He repeated, “They hit your car and I think they’re drunk. They’re turning around down there. I came out here to see if I could get the license plate number.”

About that time, the car headed towards us at which point Jeff pushed me and him out of the way and said, “Get out of the way, I think they’re drunk.” As the car slowed down, I thought maybe they were going to stop at my house and admit what happened, etc.; but, no. The car was slowing down because it was the car of my other neighbor P. (Name was been withheld to protect the not so innocent).

I said to Jeff, “Is that P’s car?”

“Yes, I think it is,” he said.

And so we started walking towards her house. I asked Jeff, should we call the police and he said, “Yeah, I would. I think she’s got a drinking problem and it would probably be best. Come on over you can use my phone; I’ve got the police department on speed dial.” Yes, there is sometimes a need to have HPD on speed dial when you live in Five Points.

I told Jeff I was going to go home and put some shoes on first, which I did, and then I went over to his house to speed dial HPD. I explained to the guy what happened, told him there was a witness (Jeff – who had been outside smoking and saw the whole thing happen), and that we were under the impression P might be intoxicated.

After I got off the phone, I asked Jeff if he minded speaking to the police, and he said, “Sure, not a problem, let me put my other glasses on.” (No, I’m not sure why.) And I said, “OK, I’m going home to put on a bra.” Look, I’m just being honest here, people! I was at home for the night and I don’t care to wear a bra when I’m hanging out at home with nothing going on but I figured I’d better put one on before the police showed up and as far as telling Jeff is concerned, well, he just thought it was funny. (Jeff is in his 60s for those of you wondering).

I went inside my house and did just that and also managed to call my parents. I briefly told my dad what was going on and about that time the police showed up, which I thought was interesting because it took them about seven minutes to arrive after I placed the call, whereas 45 minutes after I called about Charlie possibly being dead no one had yet shown up.

The police looked at the car and Jeff gave them the account of what happened – the car came from the east stopped a little bit past my car and started backing up (we assume to turn around) and hit my car, then sped off, turned around at the next intersection came back and pulled into the driveway of her home. We told them which house was P’s. They asked if she had come out since she pulled her car into her driveway and parked it. No, she had not.

Two more officers arrived at this point. The first two took car of the paperwork – getting my information, Jeff’s information, and his witness account. The other two went over to P’s house and looked at her car and somehow got her out of her house. I assume they knocked on the door, but I never saw that take place. I think it all happened in the back of her house which I cannot see.

Moments later, the two officers that had gone to P’s house started walking down the street with P in tow. One of them brought her information over to the officers on the porch with me so they could document it in the report. The officer that brought the information up (Jones) said, “She’s drunk as hell, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” I’m not sure what the law is here, but I assume the reason they could do nothing about it was because she was already home and/or her drunk driving was not witnessed by an officer. I really don’t know. While P was walking over to the scene of the crime, she fell down three times.

Once all the paperwork was complete, I went inside to watch some more football and called my parents to let them know what had happened while the police were there and also called Jackie to let her know what was going on.

The next morning as I was picking out some clothes for church the doorbell rang, and I had a sneaking suspicion it might be P – sure enough it was. I had never actually met her before, but knew her name through Jeff. So she said, “I guess I should introduce myself, I’m P.”

“I’m Natasha,” I said.

“I hit your car last night,” said P.

“Yes, I know,” I said.

P went on to apologize and say how ashamed she was and how she knew better, and on and on. I proceeded to give her a lecture about how my car could have been a person and she is really lucky it wasn’t and how about calling a cab next time.

She has since called her insurance company and they have been in touch. So, plans are to get my car repaired soon I hope.

As always, there’s never a dull moment in Five Points, or Peyton Place as Jackie calls it.