Friday, December 20, 2013

Letters to Santa: 2013 Edition

Dear Santa,

Well, it's that time of year again. Soon you'll be making your annual trip around the world stopping off at the homes of all the good boys and girls; so, I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that I've been good this year.

I'm sure you know, Santa, that this has been a very depressing and difficult year; but, I think I've held my own and haven't gotten too out of line. I've tried to be nice to people and I've tried to do good deeds for others and have a better attitude and a more positive outlook. I haven't always been successful, but at least I have tried and in a difficult year, I think that's saying something.

There's not much I want for Christmas this year and the things I do want you can't really provide (husband, children, a large dining room, the resurrection of The Tide) so I guess I'll just stick with the things that you might be able to bring on your sleigh provided you think I've been good this year.

I would really like a pair of Chacos. I feel like I'm late to the game on this fad, but since I have a trip to Hawaii planned in March I figured these will be good on all manner of terrain and will come in useful and also make me feel cool which is the point I guess. I would also like some firm pillows from the Holiday Inn. Not used ones of course, but I'm pretty sure you can buy these and I always get a good night's rest at the Holiday Inn Express (unless my dad is snoring exceptionally loud and I end up sleeping in the bathtub). I would also like the gift of a massage. My parents "got" me one for my birthday, but I have yet to see it so if you could give me one, that'd be swell. Really, there's not much else I can think of so if you could throw some surprises in, that would be nice too. As you know, Santa, I like to cook so usually anything that goes in the kitchen is a good choice as far as surprises are concerned.

As always, Santa, I'll leave some milk and cookies out for you but I'll understand if you don't eat them since you have to eat at so many other houses. Be careful when you come in because I have a new dog named Pippa (or The Pip) and well, she barks all the time and it is very loud. So, come to think of it some ear plugs might be nice. Anyway, I don't want her to startle you, so consider yourself warned. Oh, and also I don't have a big tree up this year. Instead I have a little tree up and you can just leave the gifts on top of the bureau beside the tree since there is no room underneath.

I hope you have a safe flight around the world and that the weather isn't too bad for you. Thanks for taking the time to read my letter, Santa!

Love, Natasha

Dear Santa,

My name is Pippa (or The Pip as some like to say) and this is my first ever Christmas. I was told that you come around on Christmas Eve night and visit all the good dogs and that I should write you a letter and tell you what I want for Christmas, whatever Christmas is.

I really like treats, Santa. I like treats of all kinds. One of my favorite treats are Himalayan Dog Chews and my mom gives these to me from time to time because I will chew on them for a long time and for some strange reason this seems to be when my mom is the happiest. I also like large balls because they are fun to chase around and I will chase, and chase, and chase and it is so much fun.

I might like a new collar, Santa. I've only had one collar my whole life and it's kind of dirty and even has a tear in one place. My mom has lots of collars hanging in the laundry room but she is weird and won't let me wear those. They belonged to her dog called The Tide and I guess The Tide didn't like to share.

I would like to say I've been good this year because that is what dogs are supposed to tell Santa, but if you ask my mom she probably won't agree. What's wrong with turning over a large pot and playing in the dirt? What's wrong with barking super loud all hours of the night? What's wrong with biting people all the time? What's wrong with pouncing on people? What's wrong with peeing on furniture? I'm just trying to have a little fun, Santa! What's wrong with fun?

Anyway, Santa, I am only six months old so hopefully I will grow up to be what my mom considers a good dog. I sure hope so cause she has a nice warm bed and provides me with lots of treats when I sit and shake. Have I mentioned I like treats?

OK, Santa, thanks for reading my letter. I'll be on the lookout for you on Christmas Eve and I'll be sure and bark as loud as possible when you come in our front door.

Love, Pippa (also known as The Pip)

No comments: